1
00:00:02,749 --> 00:00:04,717
Should you really be
sitting in Sheldon's spot?
2
00:00:04,745 --> 00:00:07,101
(groans) He's in Texas.
He'll never know.
3
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,515
I wouldn't be so
sure about that.
4
00:00:08,535 --> 00:00:11,013
Yeah, he has a very
sensitive butt.
5
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,307
Well, it's true.
6
00:00:14,321 --> 00:00:17,570
Once I saw him sit on a bunch
of loose change and add it up.
7
00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:22,488
- Have you heard from Howard?
- I did. His talk at NASA went great.
8
00:00:22,508 --> 00:00:23,728
Sheldon didn't heckle him?
9
00:00:23,751 --> 00:00:25,388
No, in fact, he was
so well-behaved,
10
00:00:25,394 --> 00:00:28,375
Howie bought him a Buzz Aldrin
bobble head and astronaut ice cream.
11
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,628
(knocking on door)
12
00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:32,730
- Hey, guys. - Oh, hi.
- Hi, Stewart. - Hey, Stewart!
13
00:00:32,749 --> 00:00:34,130
- How's it going?
- Good.
14
00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:36,863
Sheldon's out of town, so
we can do whatever we want.
15
00:00:36,876 --> 00:00:39,008
We even ordered from the
Thai place he doesn't like.
16
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:39,975
Oh, how is it?
17
00:00:40,001 --> 00:00:42,313
Disgusting. Do
not tell him.
18
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:44,756
What do you guys
want to do tonight?
19
00:00:44,779 --> 00:00:45,930
I don't know.
20
00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:49,017
Well, I told Howie if I wasn't busy,
I'd spend the night at his mom's.
21
00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,291
So for God's sake,
think of something.
22
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,172
(Stuart coughing)
23
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:56,234
Stuart?
Are you okay?
24
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,261
No, I don't feel so...
25
00:00:58,532 --> 00:01:00,252
- Oh, Stuart?
- Stuart?
26
00:01:00,271 --> 00:01:03,512
- Oh, my God, you guys need to
do something! - Stuart? Calling 911.
27
00:01:03,525 --> 00:01:06,601
- Well, it's too late.
- What do you mean it's too late?
28
00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:09,739
He's been murdered by
someone in this room.
29
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:10,619
(dramatic music plays)
30
00:01:10,632 --> 00:01:13,675
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, come on!
31
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:17,998
Welcome to another classic
Koothrappali murder mystery dinner.
32
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,308
I'm leaving.
33
00:01:21,313 --> 00:01:26,004
You can't leave. You're a suspect in
the mysterious murder of Stuart Bloom.
34
00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:28,201
(dramatic music plays)
35
00:01:29,315 --> 00:01:31,985
- I didn't know his last name
was Bloom. - Yeah, it's Bloom.
36
00:01:33,147 --> 00:01:35,587
Are you really gonna lie on the floor
and pretend to be dead all night?
37
00:01:35,604 --> 00:01:37,739
What do you think I
was gonna do at home?
38
00:01:39,226 --> 00:01:42,602
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪
39
00:01:42,622 --> 00:01:46,585
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
40
00:01:46,598 --> 00:01:47,725
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
41
00:01:47,748 --> 00:01:50,706
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
42
00:01:50,732 --> 00:01:52,664
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
43
00:01:52,683 --> 00:01:55,531
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
44
00:01:55,551 --> 00:01:57,634
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
45
00:01:57,645 --> 00:01:58,755
♪ Bang! ♪
46
00:01:58,772 --> 00:02:01,272
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x18 ♪
The Mommy Observation
Original Air Date on March 13, 2014
47
00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:03,796
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
48
00:02:05,457 --> 00:02:09,438
Are you gonna make us pretend to be a bunch
of lame characters with silly accents?
49
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,817
"Lame characters
with silly ac..."
50
00:02:11,843 --> 00:02:14,377
What kind of
actress are you?
51
00:02:17,248 --> 00:02:18,315
You're right, I'm sorry.
52
00:02:18,324 --> 00:02:20,524
- It... sounds like fun.
- Thank you.
53
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:22,797
That kind of actress.
This sucks!
54
00:02:24,503 --> 00:02:26,682
Come on, guys. Raj put a
lot of effort into this.
55
00:02:26,692 --> 00:02:30,093
And that's great.
It's not sad, it's great.
56
00:02:30,737 --> 00:02:32,757
I think it might be fun to
be someone else tonight.
57
00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:36,188
- Actually, you're all just gonna
be yourselves. - Oh... ugh.
58
00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:40,908
All right, if I'm doing this, I'm
playing to win, so just to be clear:
59
00:02:40,921 --> 00:02:43,271
If we're ourselves, that means
one of us killed Stuart?
60
00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:47,228
Very good, Bernadette. You are
a regular Byomkesh Bakshi.
61
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,140
What is that, like, the
Indian Sherlock Holmes?
62
00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:54,061
Or is Sherlock Holmes the
English Byomkesh Bakshi?
63
00:02:54,901 --> 00:02:57,461
According to Wikipedia,
Sherlock Holmes came first.
64
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,462
Great, everyone's
a Byomkesh Bakshi.
65
00:03:00,486 --> 00:03:04,786
Now... here are
some secret facts
66
00:03:04,798 --> 00:03:09,069
about each of you, including
whether you are the murderer.
67
00:03:09,075 --> 00:03:12,796
Throughout the game, feel free to ask
each other questions to uncover clues.
68
00:03:12,812 --> 00:03:14,258
Got it. Hey...
69
00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:16,324
who's the murderer?
70
00:03:18,496 --> 00:03:20,914
Any question but that.
71
00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:22,820
Sorry. Hey...
72
00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:25,232
who's not the murderer?
73
00:03:27,405 --> 00:03:30,047
Bernadette, can you not
stand so close to me?
74
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,627
What do you care?
You're dead.
75
00:03:31,647 --> 00:03:35,649
Suit yourself. But I can kind of...
see up your skirt.
76
00:03:43,989 --> 00:03:46,302
Thank you for
my bobble head.
77
00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:48,998
Thank you for not making fun
of me during my speech.
78
00:03:49,024 --> 00:03:51,661
It wasn't easy.
Was it Buzz?
79
00:03:55,227 --> 00:03:57,607
We can't show up to your
mom's empty-handed.
80
00:03:57,634 --> 00:04:00,239
- We should bring something.
- I already am.
81
00:04:00,264 --> 00:04:02,326
I'm bringing the
gift of knowledge.
82
00:04:02,348 --> 00:04:03,742
Oh, boy.
83
00:04:04,616 --> 00:04:06,546
Despite what her
Bible says,
84
00:04:06,559 --> 00:04:08,519
recent archeological
studies indicate
85
00:04:08,538 --> 00:04:11,414
that although camels are
referenced in the Old Testament,
86
00:04:11,437 --> 00:04:15,332
they didn't exist in the Middle
East until hundreds of years later.
87
00:04:15,359 --> 00:04:18,282
I was gonna say we pick
up a cake or a pie.
88
00:04:18,295 --> 00:04:21,059
But an insult to her faith
is always thoughtful.
89
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:26,563
So, what happens next?
90
00:04:26,592 --> 00:04:27,605
I can't tell you that.
91
00:04:27,618 --> 00:04:30,632
But perhaps the killer dropped
a fun and imaginative clue
92
00:04:30,656 --> 00:04:32,049
somewhere in
the apartment.
93
00:04:32,062 --> 00:04:36,151
Ooh, I'm gonna check the fridge, and see
if there are any clues inside a beer.
94
00:04:37,073 --> 00:04:40,948
Hey, I-I found something. It looks
like a little man with a briefcase.
95
00:04:40,967 --> 00:04:43,074
Oh, no, no. That's
Clarence Darrow.
96
00:04:43,087 --> 00:04:46,617
It's from a game Sheldon made
up called Chutes and Lawyers.
97
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,374
You slide down a chute and
then work your way back up
98
00:04:50,402 --> 00:04:52,374
through the
appellate system.
99
00:04:53,765 --> 00:04:57,243
Well, unlike that, my
games are much more fun.
100
00:04:57,269 --> 00:05:00,591
Okay, can I ask you something? Why
do you like making us do this stuff?
101
00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:02,142
Well, I guess
it goes back to
102
00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:04,489
when I was a fat kid in India,
and didn't have any friends.
103
00:05:04,516 --> 00:05:07,321
- I didn't know you were fat.
- Yeah, I was...
104
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:10,460
I was 200 pounds by the time
I was in middle school.
105
00:05:10,475 --> 00:05:11,775
Kids were mean.
106
00:05:11,791 --> 00:05:15,357
Cows may be sacred there, but it
doesn't help if you look like one.
107
00:05:16,368 --> 00:05:20,147
Anyway, I was pretty lonely, so I had
to make up my own stories and games,
108
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,357
and I promised myself if I
ever made any friends that...
109
00:05:23,883 --> 00:05:25,710
that I would play those
games with them.
110
00:05:25,729 --> 00:05:27,553
That is so sweet.
111
00:05:27,934 --> 00:05:29,921
I've seen old
pictures of you.
112
00:05:29,947 --> 00:05:33,447
- You were never a fat kid.
- No, I was svelte as a gazelle.
113
00:05:34,926 --> 00:05:38,005
A gazelle blessed with a
flair for storytelling.
114
00:05:38,024 --> 00:05:40,172
(dramatic music plays)
115
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,332
Hey, what about this? It
looks like a receipt.
116
00:05:44,351 --> 00:05:46,168
- What's it for?
- For a cup of coffee.
117
00:05:46,188 --> 00:05:48,175
But it's dated
20 years from now.
118
00:05:48,188 --> 00:05:52,031
From the future?!
How fun and imaginative.
119
00:05:53,718 --> 00:05:57,739
- So one of us came back from the
future to murder Stuart? - Correct.
120
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,095
Does the gazelle with a
flair for storytelling
121
00:06:00,115 --> 00:06:01,835
know he's just ripping
off Terminator?
122
00:06:01,841 --> 00:06:05,019
Does the smart-ass know that
Terminator was actually
123
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,678
ripped off from an Outer
Limits script called
124
00:06:06,692 --> 00:06:08,506
Demon With a Glass Hand,
by Harlan Ellison?
125
00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:11,866
Oh, does the gazelle know that
according to Harlan Ellison,
126
00:06:11,886 --> 00:06:14,380
it was not ripped off from
Demon With a Glass Hand,
127
00:06:14,399 --> 00:06:16,853
but was ripped off from
another Outer Limits script
128
00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:18,446
he wrote called
The Soldier?
129
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,584
I'm gonna need
another clue.
130
00:06:24,975 --> 00:06:28,327
Okay... give me the
flowers and pie.
131
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:31,634
But if we show up and you're holding them,
she'll think they're only from you.
132
00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:35,641
They are only from me. You said
the gift of you was enough.
133
00:06:37,308 --> 00:06:40,128
Yes... but now that I've
seen what the gift of me
134
00:06:40,141 --> 00:06:43,433
with flowers and pie looks like,
there's no going back.
135
00:06:45,009 --> 00:06:47,903
Boy, I can't wait to see
the look on her face...
136
00:06:48,754 --> 00:06:49,847
We're leaving right now.
137
00:06:49,866 --> 00:06:50,919
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
138
00:06:50,939 --> 00:06:53,019
What? Sheldon, tell me
what's going on!
139
00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:56,571
I saw my mommy with a naked man and
she was trying to be a mommy again.
140
00:07:05,746 --> 00:07:07,647
You ready to
talk about it?
141
00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:09,800
I'm not nearly
drunk enough.
142
00:07:12,179 --> 00:07:13,829
Okay.
143
00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:21,391
Do you have any idea what it's like
to see your mother ravaging someone?
144
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:24,182
Does a brisket count?
145
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:29,738
I'm sorry, buddy,
that's rough.
146
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,252
But didn't she know
we were coming?
147
00:07:31,281 --> 00:07:33,734
No. I wanted to
surprise her.
148
00:07:34,177 --> 00:07:37,382
What am I supposed to say to
her after something like this?
149
00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:39,726
- Well, did she see you
in the window? - No.
150
00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:41,673
Then don't say anything.
151
00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:44,031
I have to.
152
00:07:44,044 --> 00:07:46,407
How can we ever hope to
have a healthy relationship
153
00:07:46,414 --> 00:07:50,281
if I don't tell her how disappointed I
am, and that I'll never forgive her?
154
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,601
Well, don't do
it on the phone.
155
00:07:53,614 --> 00:07:55,219
No, I'm just going to
tell her I'm coming
156
00:07:55,231 --> 00:07:58,547
so she can give that Good
Time Charlie the heave-ho.
157
00:07:59,654 --> 00:08:02,503
That's some tough talk. I
may need to cut you off.
158
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:06,133
Yeah, maybe you better.
I took a pretty big sip.
159
00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:11,946
Look, she's a grown woman.
160
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:16,000
And-and your dad's
been gone a long time.
161
00:08:16,019 --> 00:08:18,712
Maybe this is none
of your business.
162
00:08:19,489 --> 00:08:21,136
I beg to differ.
163
00:08:21,149 --> 00:08:23,438
I used to live in
those genitals.
164
00:08:24,401 --> 00:08:28,240
And if someone wants to move into my old
room, I should at least get a vote.
165
00:08:32,995 --> 00:08:34,855
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Okay, murder suspects,
166
00:08:34,868 --> 00:08:37,714
Leonard has found the time
machine the killer must've used.
167
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:41,890
You're all inside it, and we hurtle
through the very fabric of time.
168
00:08:41,918 --> 00:08:45,186
(electronic
sound effects playing)
169
00:08:49,472 --> 00:08:52,974
And welcome to 20
years in the future.
170
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:58,887
Hey, you guys just time-traveled.
Stop looking so bored.
171
00:08:58,907 --> 00:09:01,645
Well, my beer isn't flat
and my rack's not saggy.
172
00:09:01,664 --> 00:09:03,904
So far, the future's great.
173
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:07,814
Hey, can I go to
the bathroom?
174
00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:10,041
Fine, just try not
to look too alive.
175
00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:11,658
That's my jam.
176
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:17,431
So one of us went back
in time to kill Stuart?
177
00:09:17,448 --> 00:09:20,382
- But why?
- Perhaps this will help.
178
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:24,822
Here are some facts about
yourselves in the future
179
00:09:24,837 --> 00:09:27,588
that might contain a clue.
180
00:09:28,032 --> 00:09:30,859
Hey, I-I won
the Nobel Prize in physiology.
181
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,515
Then I used the money to buy
Stuart's comic book store,
182
00:09:33,527 --> 00:09:37,216
and close it down so Sheldon
would pay attention to me.
183
00:09:40,089 --> 00:09:42,123
Not the worst idea.
184
00:09:43,552 --> 00:09:46,059
Hey, I'm a famous actress
living in London.
185
00:09:46,078 --> 00:09:47,985
- Hmm! I'm a professor at Stanford.
- Hmm!
186
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,284
So I guess you two are making
it work long distance.
187
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:54,135
KOOTHRAPPALI: Oh, no. In this game, as your
careers both took off, you drifted apart.
188
00:09:54,162 --> 00:09:55,984
Kind of like how future me
189
00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:58,029
lost touch with you guys
after I became boy toy
190
00:09:58,042 --> 00:10:01,057
for the wrinkled, but
still flexible, Madonna.
191
00:10:03,992 --> 00:10:06,539
- What does your card say, Bernadette?
- LEONARD: Eh, eh, eh, hang on.
192
00:10:06,552 --> 00:10:09,999
Do-do you think we'd really drift
apart if we both became successful?
193
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:11,519
Of course not.
194
00:10:11,542 --> 00:10:14,868
If I became a famous actress and had
to move, you would just come with me.
195
00:10:16,285 --> 00:10:18,362
But if I get a chance
to be a tenured professor,
196
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,905
I might not have that much
choice in where I end up.
197
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:24,757
Yeah, but if I become a successful
actress, we wouldn't need the money.
198
00:10:24,774 --> 00:10:26,661
Well, you don't go into
science for the money.
199
00:10:26,674 --> 00:10:28,094
Speak for yourself.
200
00:10:28,111 --> 00:10:32,837
Last month, my company both invented
and cured Restless Eye Syndrome.
201
00:10:35,425 --> 00:10:38,032
Ka-ching, ya
blinky chumps.
202
00:10:40,196 --> 00:10:43,688
So, wait, if my career took me
somewhere else, you might not go?
203
00:10:43,938 --> 00:10:46,193
- Well...
- (sings dramatic stinger)
204
00:10:48,244 --> 00:10:50,377
He started it.
205
00:10:50,403 --> 00:10:52,884
Okay, okay, guys--
new back stories.
206
00:10:52,897 --> 00:10:55,858
Uh, Penny and Leonard,
you two lovebirds are
207
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,364
super successful and
living in New York.
208
00:10:58,377 --> 00:11:01,950
Uh, you're an actress, you're a professor
and you have three beautiful kids.
209
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:05,483
- Great. - Really? You think I'm putting
this body through three kids?
210
00:11:08,444 --> 00:11:10,058
Okay, let's do this.
211
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,387
- Good luck.
- You...
212
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,720
Aren't you gonna
come with me?
213
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,126
While you confront your
mother about her sex life?
214
00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:19,390
I'd rather go back to that
bar in ass-less chaps.
215
00:11:26,001 --> 00:11:27,095
Mother?
216
00:11:27,297 --> 00:11:28,464
Mother.
217
00:11:28,632 --> 00:11:30,098
Mother?
218
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,120
Shelly! I'm so
glad you're here!
219
00:11:33,139 --> 00:11:35,388
I saw you having
naked sex.
220
00:11:37,836 --> 00:11:39,460
What are you
talking about?
221
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:41,706
Earlier, I came here
to surprise you.
222
00:11:41,725 --> 00:11:44,629
I looked in the window and
I saw you with a man.
223
00:11:44,654 --> 00:11:48,040
Oh, Shelly, I'm so sorry.
224
00:11:48,056 --> 00:11:49,213
Come in.
225
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,607
Um...
226
00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:57,409
Maybe we should sit down
and talk about this.
227
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,356
Can you recommend a surface
you haven't had coitus on?
228
00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:06,348
That's not funny.
229
00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:11,581
Maybe we should
sit at the table.
230
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,231
Well, I'm sure that, uh,
231
00:12:21,237 --> 00:12:23,058
you...
232
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,258
have a lot of questions.
233
00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:26,896
Who was he?
234
00:12:26,909 --> 00:12:30,542
His name is Ron. I met
him at my prayer group.
235
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:35,014
- How long have you been involved
with him? - A few months.
236
00:12:35,031 --> 00:12:39,655
And of those few months, how long
have you been a demented sex pervert?
237
00:12:43,378 --> 00:12:45,645
That is no way to
speak to your mother.
238
00:12:45,669 --> 00:12:47,151
Perhaps not.
239
00:12:47,164 --> 00:12:49,717
But it is a way to speak to a
woman who quoted the Bible
240
00:12:49,730 --> 00:12:54,315
to me my whole life, and then desecrates
one of Ethan Allen's finest sofas.
241
00:12:55,218 --> 00:12:58,798
I will give you one opportunity,
young man, to apologize.
242
00:12:59,774 --> 00:13:02,234
- Or what? - Or I will
send you to your room.
243
00:13:02,878 --> 00:13:04,131
That's ridiculous.
244
00:13:04,164 --> 00:13:07,655
I am a grown man. I am a
professional scientist.
245
00:13:07,674 --> 00:13:10,038
And I currently occupy
the moral high ground.
246
00:13:10,054 --> 00:13:11,331
Go to your room.
247
00:13:13,409 --> 00:13:16,051
But I occupy the
moral high ground.
248
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,139
Go to your room.
249
00:13:19,072 --> 00:13:23,701
- But I'm a professional scientist.
- Go... to your room!
250
00:13:28,203 --> 00:13:30,000
I'm a grown man.
251
00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:35,608
- Can we please get back to
the game? - I-I-In a minute.
252
00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:39,238
I-I-I don't understand why any success
you have in acting is more important
253
00:13:39,258 --> 00:13:41,065
than any I have
in science.
254
00:13:41,084 --> 00:13:44,484
Okay, if you do something cool in
science, you might change the world.
255
00:13:44,521 --> 00:13:47,070
If I become
a famous actress...
256
00:13:48,129 --> 00:13:50,994
I'm not gonna tell you why movie
stars are the best. They just are.
257
00:13:52,522 --> 00:13:55,102
I'm surprised you guys never
talked about this stuff.
258
00:13:55,115 --> 00:13:57,235
Like you and Sheldon have
everything figured out?
259
00:13:57,260 --> 00:14:00,868
Actually, our relationship agreement
covers a wide array of scenarios,
260
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:06,015
including career changes, financial
instability, intelligent dog uprising...
261
00:14:07,228 --> 00:14:10,985
FYI, we plan on selling out
the human race hard.
262
00:14:13,923 --> 00:14:16,610
In 20 years, who knows what'll
happen with any of us?
263
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:19,454
I think you and Leonard
will be together.
264
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:20,877
- You do?
- Yeah.
265
00:14:20,898 --> 00:14:22,878
I think you're the
best couple I know.
266
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,231
- Aw.
- That's so sweet.
267
00:14:24,251 --> 00:14:26,276
- What the hell?!
- Excuse me?
268
00:14:27,217 --> 00:14:29,811
Ah-da-da-da-da!
Let the dead man talk.
269
00:14:30,806 --> 00:14:32,259
So, why do you think that?
270
00:14:32,278 --> 00:14:37,050
Uh, well, I feel like you
guys make each other better.
271
00:14:37,070 --> 00:14:39,423
Penny brought Leonard
out of his shell.
272
00:14:39,449 --> 00:14:42,169
And it seems like Leonard makes Penny
think more deeply about the world.
273
00:14:42,189 --> 00:14:47,012
I don't know. Together, you two
kind of make one awesome person.
274
00:14:47,657 --> 00:14:49,384
Aw, Stuart.
275
00:14:49,397 --> 00:14:51,317
Now I feel bad for
murdering you.
276
00:14:51,343 --> 00:14:54,407
Oh, come on!
277
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:58,031
Penny did it! I win!
Suck it, jackasses!
278
00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:04,345
(knocking on door)
279
00:15:05,174 --> 00:15:07,181
Hey, can I come in?
280
00:15:07,194 --> 00:15:10,480
Apparently any man is welcome
in this house. Why not you?
281
00:15:12,574 --> 00:15:14,741
I thought you were
waiting in the car.
282
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,163
That was an hour
ago, Sheldon.
283
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,594
A Jew sits in front of a
house in Texas that long,
284
00:15:18,607 --> 00:15:20,654
"For Sale" signs
start to go up.
285
00:15:23,846 --> 00:15:27,759
I take it things didn't go
smoothly with your mom.
286
00:15:27,777 --> 00:15:29,180
No.
287
00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:32,512
I'm not sure how we're
going to get past this.
288
00:15:32,518 --> 00:15:34,099
You know, I...
289
00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:38,654
I sort of went through
something like this myself.
290
00:15:38,681 --> 00:15:41,538
Howard, we've all seen
your mother naked.
291
00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:46,012
That woman needs to learn
how to tie a robe.
292
00:15:46,909 --> 00:15:49,416
I'm talking about when my
mom started seeing someone
293
00:15:49,436 --> 00:15:51,933
a couple years
after my dad left.
294
00:15:52,808 --> 00:15:58,921
- I didn't know she did.
- Yeah, she was dating this guy,
295
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:02,619
and I was kind of a
jerk to her about it.
296
00:16:03,111 --> 00:16:04,864
What did you do?
297
00:16:04,883 --> 00:16:06,464
Well, let's just say
it was the most vicious
298
00:16:06,484 --> 00:16:09,268
bar mitzvah speech in the
history of Temple Beth El.
299
00:16:11,046 --> 00:16:13,665
Anyway, she broke
up with him.
300
00:16:13,685 --> 00:16:18,447
And she's basically
been alone ever since.
301
00:16:19,328 --> 00:16:24,701
She never said it, but I always
felt I was the reason why.
302
00:16:25,642 --> 00:16:27,102
I'm sorry.
303
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:31,596
Although, based on your story, you
absolutely were the reason why.
304
00:16:33,408 --> 00:16:35,462
All I'm saying is
you might not want
305
00:16:35,468 --> 00:16:38,603
to get in the way of
your mom's happiness.
306
00:16:39,988 --> 00:16:42,115
You may have a point.
307
00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:44,748
I love my mother.
308
00:16:45,561 --> 00:16:48,977
Even if she fornicates
like a demonic weasel.
309
00:16:53,709 --> 00:16:55,948
And the healing begins.
310
00:17:01,243 --> 00:17:02,690
- Hello.
- Hello.
311
00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:06,050
Are you ready to discuss
this calmly, like adults?
312
00:17:07,115 --> 00:17:08,914
I am.
313
00:17:20,983 --> 00:17:23,930
Shelly, I'm sorry that
you saw what you saw.
314
00:17:23,949 --> 00:17:26,850
I know that this
is hard for you.
315
00:17:26,869 --> 00:17:30,839
I think what most upsets me about
it, Mother, is the hypocrisy.
316
00:17:30,867 --> 00:17:32,254
Doesn't this contradict
317
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:35,021
all the religious rules you've
been espousing your whole life?
318
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:39,268
You're right, it does, and it's something
that I'm struggling with these days.
319
00:17:39,288 --> 00:17:43,896
- Then why are you doing it?
- Because I'm not perfect, Shelly.
320
00:17:43,909 --> 00:17:47,167
And that man's booty is.
321
00:17:52,153 --> 00:17:54,596
Well, this is
confusing for me.
322
00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:59,615
But I don't want to stand in the
way of your happiness. So...
323
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,870
I'll condemn you internally
while maintaining
324
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:05,133
an outward appearance
of acceptance.
325
00:18:06,988 --> 00:18:09,984
That is very
Christian of you.
326
00:18:13,248 --> 00:18:16,166
Mother, if you're going to conduct
your life in this fashion, then
327
00:18:16,184 --> 00:18:20,264
I should let you know that the world has
changed since you were a young woman.
328
00:18:20,277 --> 00:18:24,742
You know, it's not all sock hops,
soda jerks and segregation anymore.
329
00:18:25,982 --> 00:18:28,152
How old do you think I am?
330
00:18:29,312 --> 00:18:32,898
My point is that you're going
to need to be careful.
331
00:18:32,917 --> 00:18:37,285
You used to be protected by your
pre-Enlightenment mythology,
332
00:18:37,306 --> 00:18:41,649
but now you're going to need a
stronger friend named latex.
333
00:18:44,046 --> 00:18:47,453
Are you having the
sex talk with me?
334
00:18:47,477 --> 00:18:48,877
Well, someone has to.
335
00:18:48,897 --> 00:18:51,151
- Oh, dear Lord!
- Yeah, well...
336
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:54,113
No, don't look to Him.
He's mad at you right now.
337
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:03,520
Oh, come on, don't pout. I'm
sorry I ruined your game.
338
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,006
I'm not pouting,
I'm brooding.
339
00:19:06,026 --> 00:19:08,332
Which is how
sexy men pout.
340
00:19:10,384 --> 00:19:13,833
- It actually was kind of fun.
- You're just saying that.
341
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,262
Yeah.
342
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,933
I liked the time travel element.
343
00:19:19,946 --> 00:19:21,673
Thank you. I thought
it was inspired.
344
00:19:21,692 --> 00:19:24,125
It was. By Terminator.
345
00:19:25,152 --> 00:19:26,459
Well, I hope 20 years from now,
346
00:19:26,485 --> 00:19:29,005
we really are all still together
and still friends.
347
00:19:29,031 --> 00:19:30,025
- Definitely.
- Of course.
348
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,811
Well, hey, how about this?
349
00:19:31,824 --> 00:19:34,245
Whether we're friends,
not friends,
350
00:19:34,276 --> 00:19:35,942
scattered around the
world, no matter what,
351
00:19:35,964 --> 00:19:37,904
let's all promise to meet
in front of this building
352
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:40,340
exactly 20 years from
tonight at 8:00 p.m.
353
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,987
and have dinner
like we always do.
354
00:19:42,023 --> 00:19:43,371
PENNY: Aw! I love it.
355
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,425
Okay? Putting it in
my phone right now.
356
00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,019
Yeah, me, too.
357
00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:50,481
My phone doesn't
have a calendar.
358
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,736
It's all right, I'll just
write it on my hand.
359
00:19:59,252 --> 00:20:01,828
- And it's done.
- Yup, we're all in.
360
00:20:01,848 --> 00:20:04,623
All right, I'll see
you guys in 20 years.
361
00:20:12,430 --> 00:20:14,016
I knew it.
362
00:20:15,665 --> 00:20:20,665
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther